Don't Run in the Darkness

"The dark night of the soul, is an account of how God works to change us not just through joy and light, but through confusion, through disappointment, through loss."

-St. John of the Cross

I am profoundly confronted by the pain and loss in my own life. I come face to face with the reality that I despise the dark night of the soul, that I want the light to shine and all to be well. Yet without the darkness, there would be no growth, there would be no conforming to the image of Christ. There is no skirting the suffering and heartache that this present world offers and demands we take. It is placed upon us, and we are thrust into darkness where we once saw great light.

We must sit in the dark, in the hard, welcoming it like a warm blanket wrapped around us by an ever-loving and caring Father. For it is here, in these spaces, that we know the fellowship of Christ's suffering. This is where we learn more of who He is and His character. It is in the darkness that I am well acquainted with God's love for me because He holds me tightly, He keeps me safe, and I know that He is always with me, that I will not walk through any dark valley alone.

For it is here that the table is set before me, in the presence of my enemies, and it is here that my cup is filled to overflowing, because God alone is my portion! From here my life overflows, and I believe that goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life! (Psalm 23)

My heart cries out to the Lord, recognizing my tendency to run through trials, for I do hate the darkness! It is frightening, and I can't see what is ahead. Oh, how I do love to cling to my false sense of control. Yet here, in the lingering blackness of the nightfall—where I want to run—the Lord calls me to slow down. Running in the dark is never a good idea. From fear, only more pain will come if I were to sprint through a dark room. I dare say a toe would most likely be stubbed, a knee banged into a corner of a table, a hand smacked against a doorjamb, or worse yet, a fall where my head would hit any object in the room. The darkness pleads with me to slow down, to wait patiently for the next step.

"You can't run in the dark." - John Ortberg

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, don't lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." (Provers 3:5-6

A choice has to be made. I will wait patiently, I will sit in the scariness of the darkness. When God seems to be silent, I will remember that He made a promise to never leave me or forsake me. He has good plans for me, He is leading me. I will hold His hand and let Him have His way with me. My sweet husband, Joshua, likes to remind me: "The teacher is always silent during the test." The teacher has not left the room; He is right in front of me, He is watching and silently cheering for me to do well, to apply all that I have studied and learned.

The darkness is working something amazing; I must only trust and obey. If you are anything like me, you long for the morning sun, but sometimes seasons bring the dark gray clouds that can linger for days upon days. It seems as though there will be no reprieve, but know the sunlight is coming; it always does.

"This will be a test of your joyful confidence in God." - Dallas Willard

The darkness is simply that sweet sister—a TEST! It will reveal where you have placed your confidence, and it will refine you. I love that Dallas Willard doesn't "just" say confidence, he says JOYFUL confidence. We will never have joyful confidence in anything apart from Jesus! The dark trials, suffering, unmet expectations, hurts, loss, grief, failed relationships—they are all part of the test. In order to slow down and stop running in the dark, we must study-up in the light. We must hunger after the Word of God, devour it, glean from it, be in fervent prayer, for when the darkness falls, it will be what we have learned in the light that will aid in the test of waiting.

When we walk through the darkness, it is not for nothing; it is for HIS name's sake! It is for our good, for the restoring of our souls, for the growing of our faith, and our maturity.

Girlfriends, "We must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives." -Dallas Willard

Don't run in the dark; stop rushing through the trials of life, and start joyfully looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith, knowing that He has set the race before you. He will complete the good work that He has started. He wants your heart, your glad surrender, and your joyful confidence to be in Him and Him alone.

Let's spur one another on. Let's walk slowly, anticipating the sweet green pasture ahead, trusting that God, that His great mercy and grace, will gently bring us to the better side, and there will again be light! Because light always overcomes darkness!