My Truth to Food & Body Freedom (Part 2) Shedding 100 + lbs

From one extreme to another...

I have always thought of myself as a rather flighty, quick changer, easy going, kind of gal. But- in reality, the more I have come to know about Jesus and His character, the more flawed my thinking is about myself!

From eating disordered living to EXTREME weight gain, is my journey. I had heard it said;

"Those that struggle with keeping themselves THIN will indeed struggle with being overweight at some point in their life." - Laura (friend and eating disorder survivor)

Laura was a sweet older friend and mentor to me. We worked together at a super cute and very trendy salon in the Minneapolis area- back in the day. She watched me struggle, she saw me almost every day- she knew that I needed help. Laura played a vital role in speaking truth into my life. Laura was obese, I never knew her any other way. She was also one of the most stunning women I knew, her smile radiated and the light rosy circles on her soft cheeks made her look as though she was always blushing. She had the most gorgeous, naturally blonde hair with luscious curls that spiraled down her back. When I looked at Laura I never really noticed her weight. Until one day- I though she was crazy as she spoke to me one beautiful Saturday, as we opened blinds, and started coffee in the salon, preparing for all the gals that would venture through the polished glass doors to sit in chairs and have their hair done- she looked me in the eyes and shared that she too was an eating disorder survivor!

My mind often would flash back to that morning, as I lay in bed and didn't want to get up. Because at this point in my journey, I had a new reality- it was the truth that I was 100 + pounds over weight. I had 3 babies, so sure, a little weight was to be expected. But let me be real with you... NOT 100 + pounds.

No this was not my set point weight. No this was not me letting my body be where she should be. This was me- Brittany, out of control. Or was I?

I would say, yes and no. When it came to food, if I wanted it- you better believe I had it. This does seem like a lack of control, and if I am honest- which I seek to be- I was a not walking in the fruit of the Spirit. I lacked control over food choices, I had quit moving my body- and I really didn't care anymore.

Deep down inside though, there was this little voice that felt she had control. She felt entitled to eat whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. Sometimes I think back to that woman- and I become fearful for her. I see her just as Eve, standing in the garden, telling herself that she deserved to be like God. This woman- the woman I was- she did not want to be told what she could and could not do, and to me this is a woman who wants ultimate control.

See my battle here was worse than the first! I thought and believed that I was walking in freedom. If you would have asked me if I was free- I would have said YES!

But I wasn't. It hurt to walk, I had trouble breathing, I didn't love how my clothes looked, it was hard for me to play with my littles, and I struggled to be intimate with my husband. Maybe that last tag is a bit much information, but I am serious, this was a problem.

You want to know what else was an issue? My weight was not just physical! I was lying, being deceitful, overspending like a mad woman. My lack of control was permeating every aspect of my life!

But GOD!!!

I get asked often, and I mean often- (when other women hear that I have lost 100 + pounds and kept it off), how did you do it?

It was all through Jesus! Yes I began to learn about nutrition, I started moving my body again, but truth be told, it was within that the GREATEST change of all took place.

I was reading one glorious morning in Scripture that this body is not mine, it is HIS!

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

(1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

It was this passage that struck me. In that moment, sitting at my smallish kitchen table in Fargo, ND- while my kiddos were fast asleep, and my husband was pouring his coffee- I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me;

"You are not honoring me."

It shook me to my core! I read the passage again, and again. Was I really reading that correctly? I had read it many times before, but for some reason- this time, It changed me.

I became overwhelmed with fear. I was truly, and most ardently afraid of falling back into my old ways of binging and purging. How would I ever honor God with my body? What did that even mean? Was I supposed to be THIN? Was it me being overweight that was displeasing Him? What in the world was He trying to tell me?

This is the conclusion I have come to... This body is His. I am not called to worship it (the creation), rather I am called to worship my Creator (God) through good stewardship of this body. You see this body was an outward symbol to something far greater going on within my heart.

I thought I could be, and do whatever I wanted- not only in the areas of food, but with my families money, time and talents. I was living and functioning as my own god! EEEKKK- Now that was a lot for me to swallow. I am sorry Mary Poppins, but NO amount of SUGAR will help that medicine go down. For REAL!

So right there- that cold, brisk, winter morning, at my kitchen table is where my weight shedding journey began. I looked up at my husband and rattled out quickly and loudly;

"Something has to change!"

My poor guy- the look of shock on his face, and the kind smile, and gentle tone that said;

"Honey, shh, the kids are sleeping. What are you talking about?"

my precious husband! He is truly is amazing. He is the most patient man, well person I know...

I began to tell him it was me, I needed to change, I could feel God moving in my heart, and He was radically calling me out- He was moving me to a NEW way.

From that kitchen table, and early morning conversation has been a LONG journey! Seriously, if I told you from that moment on I had it altogether- well I would not be walking in truth and it would certainly not serve you or me- at ALL!

Because the journey was hard, has been hard, and is now a gentle rolling wave, that has ups and downs.

It took me a few years to shed my physical weight, and my Spiritual baggage. It was so much to work through. I mean- am I really done? NO! I tell women who email me, DM, PM, or text me- that the journey is just that- a journey. It is a wild and crazy adventure that will not be complete this side of Heaven. I explain in love that I am just a few steps ahead in the adventure. I know there are women that are much further along than I am. Ha- that's why I read their books, that's why I do devotionals written by them, that's why I ask them to disciple me.

So if I could encourage you this morning. The greatest thing you will ever do to overcome the battle- is fall on your knees, cry out to GOD in prayer, and ask HIM to direct your steps. Far to often when a woman talks to me about her weight struggles- when I ask her if she has prayed about it, the answer is almost always NO.

Let me tell you- you will never find victory on your own! You can try every diet, every single workout routine known to woman, but if you are walking in your own power- well let me tell you what will happen... The weight will come right back. This is weight-loss. I don't know about you- but I surely didn't want my weight to find me again, and I wasn't going looking for it either.

I wanted it GONE! I have eaten many different ways. I have moved my body in multiple ways. As the years quietly pass, I have learned that gentle nutrition, mindful eating, radical responsibility, and holding myself accountable are the way for me.

I am a woman prone to extremes. I can easily sway from one side to the next. But in (Ecclesiastes 7:18) God warns;

"It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes."

You know- I wasn't even aware of this in my life until one of my sweetest and dearest friends called me out, IN LOVE.

Friend- the problem is more than food or drink. It is more than what food list to follow what diet plan to jump on. The root is within. DEEP-DEEP-DEEP. The only way to make lasting changes is to get the shovel and begin to dig. You will hit some soft spots of dirt that turn over rather smoothly, but trust me when I say, the ground is hard and needs to be fallowed, it will not be sugar plums and roses.

At-least it wasn't on my journey.

I want to encourage you if you find yourself struggling to look in your local community. Begin to share with another woman, one that you trust and that has your best interest in mind. This is where I began. I asked a girlfriend who seemed to have the healthy lifestyle down pat. She was part of my local church and she loved me even when I know it was extremely hard.

My success is not because I found some amazing fad diet. It was because I learned to put off my old ways and put on who I truly am in Christ. I put off and put on! I began to believe that my body belonged to God, that what I ate mattered and that He created me to LIVE, MOVE and Breathe in HIM. Not just the parts of my life that were convenient to give HIM, NO- ALL of my life. I did make food changes, but alterations that TRULY were a lifestyle, not a quick fix.

I didn't have to go at it alone. There were other women who have gone at it before me. I just had to look around. I- needed others. The fight was worth it. The FREEDOM was already mine. I didn't need to wait for the FREEDOM to come, I only need to begin walking in it.

"For FREEDOM Christ has set you FREE"

(Galatians 5:1)

So long ago in that salon when Laura spoke to me, I realize what she was saying. She was telling me- Even if it is not exactly what she meant, that She didn't know where the FREEDOM source was, but she knew one thing... That those who struggle will always- unless they find the truth that will set them FREE.

Dear woman- That FREEDOM comes in the name and person of JESUS CHRIST!

Me finding food and body image freedom, came when I laid it down at the foot of the cross and said;

"Here's my life LORD, take it, use it, mold me, make me into your image. Search me and see if there is any wrong way in me."

FREEDOM comes in Jesus alone!

xoxo,

Brittany